Thursday, May 5, 2016

Less Strings Attached

One year more and I will be reaching thirty but I still ditch people from my life every now and then. Popular wisdom tells someone near this age, when dealing with confrontation, should be docile, calm, and gentle. I embrace the idea and put it into practice all right, letting the bear with the sore head growl. Unbeknownst to them, as I walk away, I have ended all connections with them. From then on, they are no longer exist, unimportant, insignificant like a speck of dust in the universe. In social media, that would be a single click that removes the victim's account from my friends list. Pathetic it may sound, I cut the connection in real world as well. It has crossed my mind that my puny body on the deathbed would not be accompanied by many people because of that. Malaysia population is approximately thirty million. Thirty million antics to deal with. Sorting them into several groups with whom I am comfortable to deal, taking accounts differences of skin colour, culture and faiths, sexual orientation, age, nature of profession, political views, hobbies, etc.; that would leave me only a handful. A handful of people making a fragile network like criss-crossing cotton strings tied to pins pricked at random points on a softboard like seen in movies; one pin holds a photo of one man and the string connects to another. The strings sketch possible interaction between people; glimpses, silent judgment, small talk, casual conversation, pretentious laugh, argument now that the string is outstretched then broken making them become strangers once again. I am the gray pin over there positioned somewhere at the corner, separated from others by huge gaps at all sides, silently observing in solitude and peace. That huge ball of cotton strings down there is not important to me anymore.

4 comments:

  1. Pokdeng,

    This is wonderful, and assuring (for me) at this very moment.

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  2. Have you read/watched "the perks of being a wallflower"? life is fun and full with blessings, but will be more fun if we have people to share our joy/blessings with =) and just because you are reaching 30, it doesn't mean that it will be too late for you to start making new friends.

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    Replies
    1. 'The perks of being a wallflower' - heard of it when someone put that at his Whatsapp status. Thought it was a random line picked from the air or something, until you pointed out it was a book and movie title. Maybe I'd ask my colleague with better internet connection to download illegally for me.

      Life is indeed fun, Shela. It would be more fun in quietness, with cats meowing, and.. and.. good food. I like food. Food is love, food is life.

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