Sunday, November 27, 2011

Rich People's Problem

I am not very much into gossips, but I pity of my landlady (what should I call "tuan rumah yang beri sewa" in English?). If you happen to see yourself forget to switch off the bathroom's light after shower, you'll soon see the house shaken by her angry babbling, frustration, fears of the electricity bill will hike up to the point at which she would die of spending too much money. "Mati tak mak cik kalau hari-hari macam ni?! Mati tak?! Aduih...." she would say almost everytime when this happens. I pity of her so much, because she cannot see with her very own eyes that there are more than ten tenants staying in the house.Why need to get angry when the electricity bill goes to the peak of mount Everest? Every day, after darkness bleached all the light in the sky, she lives in the dark to ensure she would not die in that particular way. She would only switch the lights on when she wants to do something important that needs light. After that, the world turns dark again. I see this as symptoms of being too stingy, hence, her soul isn't as a sound as an old woman of good heart should have.

She loves chatting with me, but I hate it, so much, so true, so deep into my very soul. It is more into a one-way conversation though: she talks endlessly, and I nod while listening like a loyal listener. What makes my hatred grows hands and legs by days gone by is the nasty gossip she would come out with when she speaks with me and I am forced to contribute my part into it. Yes, yes, the guy next door to my room is a divorcee. His ex-wife has a Master's Degree that's why she grows wings feeling herself like an angel but she doesn't know she is actually a beast, a griffon. Oh Monsieur Pok Deng, that Lan guy, errghh... I think he has mental problem, once worked for RISDA, then got fired, then went to Sabah to work for a government office its name I haven't remembered now, then got fired again, then currently just got fired by his boss at nearby Domino Pizza. Hey you know about that Pak Mat guy? He is already fifty three! Should have gone to the mosque all day long if I were him, but now, look at him, he's still working, and his sons at the kampong are doing nothing but the useless rempit stuff! Oh Monsieur Pok Deng, about that Mazlan guy, he's "bodoh je!". He didn't go to university but his children do! Stupid guy breeds smart children! Yada yada yada.

If she dies one day, I hope God saves her soul, even though I don't see that will come true. I have told you that I am not very much into gossips. There are still a lot of things about that old woman that I can list here. But I shall keep that to myself for now. If I do so, there will be nothing that differentiates me and her. May God forgives me.

21 comment(s):

  1. PokDeng:
    Tell the landlady to open a blog. She can pour her heart out there.:-) Dont LINK me tho!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mak Piah,
    I'm afraid she will complain every single thing about her small world! I never met a tuan rumah behaves the way as she does.

    It's a simple concept to enlighten you if you don't understand my situation: You rent a room for two. There are other 5-7 other rooms rented by other tenants. The landlady lives together with us. The rooms are specially constructed in a way that the tenants won't bump the landlady by chance (well, if she's sweeping the fallen leaves underneath the mango tree, we will).

    Now here's the part that we consider a BIG problem: YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE RENTING A ROOM UNTIL IT FEELS LIKE YOUR OWN. It's like staying in a hostel of a boarding school. There's a warden watching your every move.

    If you wash clothes too often: she will complain. That increases her water bill.

    If you forget to switch off the bathroom/bedroom light or the ceiling fan: you'll in big trouble.

    If you stay up at night: she will ask you what the hell are you doing at that time. Practically, staying up late at night needs the lights on. That increases the electricity bill.

    My room: RM360, for two. Hence, I pay RM190. Why RM190 when it should have been RM180 instead? Because I bring in a laptop. One selected electrical device costs you RM10 electricity bill. If you bring in a TV, that would be another RM10. Same thing goes to a radio. Other devices which do not consume too much energy: ie iron, cell phone's charger are excluded from the additional payment.

    If you always buy newspapers or mineral water in bottles, you are advised NOT to throw them out into a trash can. Kindly place them recyclable items on a specific area. She will take them and sell to the kitar semula guy. Of course, she will take the money!

    ReplyDelete
  3. She sounds like a perfect melancholy. Understand her...love her if u can..LOL ...:-) What a landlady u have. My advice, find other place. Meantime, u just ahaaa..aaa..aaaa. BE strong Johnny Depp!

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  4. Mak Piah,
    Of course I always thought about moving out to a new place where I can do whatever I want, in a house that looks like a house, feels like home. But my workplace is just twenty steps away from the place I am now staying at. Guess how much money I can save judging from the short distance and the amount of time I spend to reach my office?

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  5. No amount of money saved is worth negativity crap energy sucking gossip.

    Plus, you better be careful. She might get sweet on you.

    Move out.

    ReplyDelete
  6. lemme guess why u tak pindah.

    evil makcik ada daughter comei (yg baik) eh?

    ReplyDelete
  7. ninotaziz,
    I want to move out so bad, ma'am. But as mentioned earlier, it's hard to decide. Besides, me no have big salary, ma'am. Me too no have a transport. Neither a car nor a bike, me no have. I'm still in probation stage (kontrak).

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Tea Drinker,
    You know my weak spot. However, it's a NO. She doesn't have a beautiful young daughter. She's a grandma. Yes, a grandma with A LOT of masalah jiwa.

    Even if she has one, I don't wanna be in a family who distinguish people based on their academic achievement. She always boast about her children having good academic qualifications, berpelajaran this berpelajaran that.

    I, Sir Pok Deng, too a berpelajaran people. But you don't know how my heart hurt seeing her treating those who yang tak berpelajaran tinggi macam binatang?

    She would call me up, "Din... Din... sini jap."

    And she calls other non-berpelajaran-tinggi people, "weh! Sini! Sini! Kamu nak pergi mana tu?!"

    ReplyDelete
  9. "Every day, after darkness bleached all the light in the sky, she lives in the dark to ensure she would not die in that particular way."
    Classic Pok Deng style. I like!

    Okay, let's see if we can gather some positives from the tragic landlady farce.
    1. Actions done in repetition eventually turn into habit. I'd say, energy saving and recycling are good habits.
    2. Every story needs a villain. Those characters that bring out the best in the protagonist and inspire readers on who NOT to be like. Consider tragic landlady to be such character.
    3. You came up with this entertaining post. I apologize, though, that your discomfort becomes entertainment for me. But such is the way of things.
    4. Sorry, this is all I can come up with at the moment.

    I once lived in a shithole because it was closest to work and cheapest for my pocket. No, not a reasonably comfortable place albeit with complementary quirky landlady. A real life shithole with mannerless people throwing rubbish everywhere, shouting day and night and peeing in the stairwells. I managed to endure there for 7 months.

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  10. Ninotaziz,
    Does that mean she sugarcoats me? Like chocolate cake sprinkled with icing sugar on it?

    The hell am I talking about?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jiyuu
    Classic? You tell me I'm old?!!

    So you like this kind of story huh? Good man (yes, me!) vs villains. I act kind, they are depicted as evil beasts. String some words into lyrical composition. Add in sarcasms and ironies. Voila. You cup of coffee, Jiyuu.

    I thought you like Twilight kinda stuff?! You, know, sparkling boyfriend. Bite neck. Taste blood, smells of pheromone. Run towards the peak of a mountain to unveil long guarded secret that I'm actually a vegetarian vampire.

    Hmmm... what a ghetto you once lived at. If you lived in there for more than a year, I bet you will like hip hop.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yes, sir, you are old. Accept the reality.

    "I like my coffee like I like my women -- in a plastic cup. *confused expression*" -Eddie Izzard-

    Twilight kind of stuff, meaning vampires and werewolves and magic other merepek stuff, I generally like. But inexplicably, "sparkling boyfriend. Bite neck. Taste blood, smells of pheromone. Run towards the peak of a mountain to unveil long guarded secret that I'm actually a vegetarian vampire" is just too merepek for me.

    I'm taking hip hop dance lessons, dawg!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Jiyuu,
    But I'm 24!

    I think I have come across a similar quote at 9gag.com, but the version is much pervert.

    Hope you found real hip hop. I mean REAL hip hop.

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  14. Age has nothing to do with it.

    Haven't heard of this 9gag website. I only know of icanhazcheeseburger and Engrish.

    Then we shall all turn into rabbits!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Jiyuu,
    So you wanna say that I'm bald. I knew it! Gotcha haha!

    9gag is like a blackhole. It sucks in your soul.

    Rabbits?

    ReplyDelete
  16. I didn't want to say that, but now I do. Hage! Ha!

    Black holes suck in all mass. Does a soul have mass?

    Yes, rabbits. They hop from their hip. Ergo, true hip hoppers are rabbits. Which we will all become. Yeah.

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  17. Jiyuu,
    It's pointless talking poetic with an engineer. You want me talk DNA, RNA, protein, mutation, DNA walking?

    Rabbits again. I lost my imagination.

    ReplyDelete
  18. RABBBIIIIITTTSSSSS!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete